When I had my twin boys, I knew life would be busy. However, nothing had prepared me for the unique challenges that lay ahead. Shortly after their birth, both, Brandon and Dakota, were diagnosed with disabilities, both with cerebral palsy, one with a sensory processing disorder, the other with hydrocephalus and seizure disorder. Once they entered school, my days became a whirlwind of medical appointments, therapy sessions, IEP meetings, and the everyday tasks of parenting. On top of all that, I was looking for my niche. I was determined not to lose sight of my dreams and aspirations.

I often felt like I was living two lives. In the professional one, deadlines, meetings, and expectations never seemed to pause. In the caregiver one, my boys depended on me for everything from feeding to learning to communicate. “Some days, it feels like there’s not enough of me to go around,” I confided in a friend. The exhaustion was real—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

There were times I’d be on a work call, frantically jotting down notes while one son needed help with a leg brace and the other was overwhelmed by the sound of the vacuum. I worried constantly that I was failing both at work and at home. I remember reading, “You can do anything, but not everything,” and it struck a chord. It was okay to ask for help and to let go of the illusion of perfection.

Regaining Work-Life Balance

Through trial and error, I found some ways to reclaim a sense of balance and even carve out precious moments of free time:

1. Set Boundaries: I learned to set clear work hours and communicate these to my boss and colleagues. The world didn’t end when I turned off my email at 5:00 PM.
2. Ask for Help: I reached out to family, friends, and support groups. Sometimes, accepting help is the bravest thing you can do. As one friend told me, “It’s not about being strong all the time; it’s about knowing when to lean on others, when your strength is waning.”
3. Embrace Flexibility: Remote work and flexible hours became my saving grace. If my boys needed me during the day, I’d shift important tasks to quieter moments, often after their bedtime.
4. Self-Care is Non-Negotiable: I started blocking out 15 minutes for myself each day. Whether it was reading, stretching, or just sitting with a cup of tea, those short breaks helped me recharge.
5. Find Joy in Small Moments: I learned that free time doesn’t have to be big or grand. Watching a favorite show with my family, baking cookies together, or a quick walk outside can be just as meaningful as a weekend getaway.

Enjoying Free Time

It took time to let go of guilt and allow myself to enjoy life outside of responsibilities. “Caregiver burnout is real,” my therapist reminded me, “and so is caregiver joy.” Now, when I have a free afternoon, I try to be present. I meet a friend for coffee, dive into a new book, or simply sit in the sunlight and breathe. These moments restore me, reminding me that I am more than my roles.

Juggling work and caregiving for twins with disabilities is anything but easy. I’ve learned to celebrate small victories, lean on others, and most importantly, to honor my own needs. If you’re walking this path, remember: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Take care of yourself, enjoy those precious pockets of free time, and know that you’re doing an amazing job.